Case Studies

Care Campaign for the Vulnerable contacted by families and care partners have been told that some care homes are still not facilitating safe visits. Families are contacting us saying they are being denied the right to help care for vulnerable elderly relatives. With proper safety measures in place care partners or one designated family member should be given the green light to visit vulnerable loved ones and living with dementia. Many say elderly in care homes now feel 'abandoned' and are 'giving up'.

''My mother died from Covid19 when in care. I visited her every day to ensure her needs were met and to ensure she looked nice, clean and ate well. I am appalled families were just pushed aside with no thought to the devastating impact this would have on the more vulnerable that so depend on family members when in care. I am angry that we, always have the safety and care as a priority and could not go in even with proper PPE and yet the carers who were working with our relatives were going home to families and shopping. My devastation is my mum died and I couldn't be with her. I know she must have felt so alone and abandoned. I can never forgive this Government for allowing care homes to do this.'' Sharon Chalk

''Not being allowed to visit my mum who relied on me so much was devastating and so unfair to family members taking on the role of a care partner. The care home was informing me my mother wasn't eating and drinking. I kept asking to go in to help because she would always eat for me. But the home kept refusing. In the end my mum died of Covid 19. I am so upset. She must have wondered where I was. I was always with her. I know she felt abandoned by me. I have to live with that.''

Sharon Chalk attending her mum's funeral.

''My mother died in care... unrelated to Covid19.. I know she felt alone and abandoned when no family could visit.'' Daughter in care Wendy Devyea

Peggy Young - her daughter Wendy told us ' Because of the visiting restrictions put in place, I know she felt abandoned by me.''

'' My father can understand we are not there but can't process the reasons why. I strongly feel families with elderly relatives especially living with dementia should have been given special visitation rights. I am not blaming the care homes as many were only following Government guidelines - but if you care for a person with dementia you know only too well how very important care partners/families are to their continued wellbeing. We understand their needs and can communicate this to the staff''. SC

Peggy Young with her daughter Wendy who contacted CCFTV - '' I got the chance to be with my mum during her end of life but I know she felt abandoned having no family visit in over three months.''

'' Our mother just gave up because she had no visits from her family in over three months. Living with dementia is difficult as well as for the families. It's so important for them to have regular contact but during Coronavirus and the government restrictions it wasn't happening. I can understand the issues and the safety but people with dementia should have been prioritised regarding testing and families or at least one family member to wear sufficient PPE. I can't fault my mother's care home as staff were only following Government orders. I was grateful to the staff at the care home for allowing me to be with mum during her end of life. But there is no doubt I know she felt abandoned by her family and that will always stay with me.'' Wendy.

''My husband has dementia. I'm so upset as I have only seen him once and that was very recently. He tells me he's never going to see me again and that breaks my heart. I firmly believe elderly living with dementia should have been allowed to have one family member to visit them. It would be the same as a carer coming and going. It was badly thought out and so many residents living with dementia are declining now from being kept apart for so long. My husband said to me over a phone call ' I'm never going to see you again, am I?'' It breaks my heart. Who knows how long we have both got left.'' Christina

Christina and her husband Peter who she hasn't hugged for 8 months because he lives in a care home

Care Campaign for the Vulnerable is calling for care partners to be allowed in care homes to ensure the wellbeing of vulnerable elderly loved ones. One family member to be treated as a key worker. Above are just some of the concerns being told to CCFTV by families. All messages are verified. If you have a care concern about visitation restrictions in care homes and want your experience to be heard, please email CCFTV at ccftv.cares@gmail.com